PBA 018.5a

[2/5/2014 10:07:55 PM] Kali: ((In here!))

[2/5/2014 10:08:04 PM] Wynn: ((ok!))

[2/5/2014 10:08:36 PM] Wynn: ((Is Tarak still here?))

[2/5/2014 10:08:48 PM] Kali: Not that you can see.

[2/5/2014 10:09:06 PM] Kali: Allys smooths out her skirt, setting a book down on one of the weapons racks. "Go on."

[2/5/2014 10:09:29 PM] Wynn: I know you served the Saint at one point, so I think you'll understand.

[2/5/2014 10:09:47 PM] Kali: Allys's lips tighten. "Do you."

[2/5/2014 10:10:04 PM] Wynn: Tarak and I spoke about a lot of things while we were sparring.

[2/5/2014 10:10:36 PM] Wynn: There are still plenty of things I have questions about, but that's not really why I wanted to talk to you.

[2/5/2014 10:11:06 PM] Wynn: He thinks that the best thing to do, for both of us, is to come up with some sort of punishment... retribution for our past mistakes.

[2/5/2014 10:11:29 PM] Wynn: I don't know him well enough to say what would be best, though.

[2/5/2014 10:11:56 PM] Kali: Allys: ... what was that sound.

[2/5/2014 10:12:06 PM] Wynn: What sound?

[2/5/2014 10:12:21 PM] Kali: Allys: I heard a sound outside, in the hallway.

[2/5/2014 10:12:56 PM] Kali: Allys: One moment.

[2/5/2014 10:13:01 PM] Kali: She opens the door!

[2/5/2014 10:13:46 PM] Kali: Wynn can hear her saying "Excuse me. What *exactly* is going on out here."

[2/5/2014 10:14:07 PM] Wynn: Wynn frowns a little.

[2/5/2014 10:14:24 PM] Kali: Allys: Indeed *not*. I encourage you to eavesdrop elsewhere.

[2/5/2014 10:15:13 PM] Kali: Allys closes the door again, stepping back inside.

[2/5/2014 10:15:37 PM] Kali: Allys: Your little friend needs to learn some manners.

[2/5/2014 10:15:43 PM] Wynn: .... Janis?

[2/5/2014 10:16:24 PM] Kali: Allys: Yes. I think she's gone now. I hope. But we can walk to the *other* side of the room, just in case.

[2/5/2014 10:16:54 PM] Kali: Allys steps toward the farther side of the room, looking at the practice weapons on one of the racks.

[2/5/2014 10:17:01 PM] Wynn: Wynn follows.

[2/5/2014 10:17:41 PM] Kali: Allys: Now. Tell me about this harebrained scheme.

[2/5/2014 10:18:26 PM] Wynn: Well, I guess it boils down to retribution for our past mistakes to stop being hard on ourselves.

[2/5/2014 10:18:42 PM] Kali: Allys: Retribution! And you feel that's constructive, do you?

[2/5/2014 10:19:26 PM] Wynn: Why not?

[2/5/2014 10:19:47 PM] Kali: Allys rolls her eyes. "What purpose does it serve that wouldn't be served equally well by doing something infinitely less stupid?"

[2/5/2014 10:20:17 PM] Wynn: I cannot speak for Tarak, but I know I have done things that have never been paid for.

[2/5/2014 10:21:07 PM] Kali: Allys: *He* has no real reason to be guilty. His ghosts are self-made.

[2/5/2014 10:21:50 PM] Wynn: Wynn frowns a little trying to put together this very confusing puzzle of he-said she-said.

[2/5/2014 10:22:14 PM] Wynn: What's so stupid about retribution?

[2/5/2014 10:22:52 PM] Wynn: I mean... I know you don't follow the Saint anymore, but you did once. Did you wholly change your opinions on it?

[2/5/2014 10:24:02 PM] Kali: Allys: He told you that, did he? ... remind me to have a little *talk* with him about minding other people's business as well.

[2/5/2014 10:25:29 PM] Wynn: Well, it is only human nature to want to learn more about the people you travel with.

[2/5/2014 10:26:42 PM] Kali: Allys: Which is why, ordinarily, we do not travel with anyone.

[2/5/2014 10:26:53 PM] Kali: She picks up the practice mace, hefting it in one hand.

[2/5/2014 10:27:34 PM] Wynn: Is there something you'd like to correct of what he told me?

[2/5/2014 10:29:35 PM] Kali: Allys: I'd like to "correct" him for telling it to you, but otherwise, no.

[2/5/2014 10:30:02 PM] Wynn: Wynn frowns. "Why is it so important to keep it to yourself?"

[2/5/2014 10:31:00 PM] Kali: Allys: I value my privacy. Is that so unusual?

[2/5/2014 10:31:34 PM] Wynn: It is to me. My life is an open book. I don't see any reason to hide.

[2/5/2014 10:32:03 PM] Kali: Allys: It's best not to get attached to people. It does more damage when you leave.

[2/5/2014 10:32:23 PM] Wynn: Well, I think that might be the first thing I've heard both you and Tarak say.

[2/5/2014 10:32:39 PM] Kali: Allys: We are *related*, you know.

[2/5/2014 10:32:56 PM] Kali: Allys: I suppose we must not seem like it sometimes.

[2/5/2014 10:32:58 PM] Wynn: Wynn smiles. "It's not *that* obvious."

[2/5/2014 10:33:09 PM] Kali: She peers at the macelike practice weapon critically.

[2/5/2014 10:33:23 PM] Wynn: Do you still fight?

[2/5/2014 10:33:49 PM] Kali: Allys: What, he didn't tell you that as well?

[2/5/2014 10:34:27 PM] Wynn: We didn't speak much about what happened after you... after the war.

[2/5/2014 10:35:35 PM] Kali: Allys: Unlike the Bloody-Minded Saint, Bahamut is tolerant of differing views.

[2/5/2014 10:37:47 PM] Wynn: He didn't really tell me much besides the parts that were about him in some way.

[2/5/2014 10:38:57 PM] Wynn: I know very little about Bahamut's ideology.

[2/5/2014 10:39:34 PM] Kali: Allys: He tolerates pacifism.

[2/5/2014 10:40:08 PM] Wynn: So is that a no, then?

[2/5/2014 10:40:44 PM] Kali: Allys: I follow a higher calling than smashing people with sticks.

[2/5/2014 10:41:42 PM] Wynn: It must be hard traveling with someone who still thinks of himself as a knife, then.

[2/5/2014 10:43:10 PM] Kali: Allys: It's his choice to continue. And it's his choice to be an idiot and think of himself that way.

[2/5/2014 10:43:29 PM] Wynn: How would you think of it?

[2/5/2014 10:45:21 PM] Kali: Allys: ... you are aware I do not have a high opinion of the Saint. But one *could* think of it as a gift.

[2/5/2014 10:46:30 PM] Wynn: Wynn frowns a little in confusion. "It?"

[2/5/2014 10:46:42 PM] Kali: Allys: Being chosen by a deity.

[2/5/2014 10:47:02 PM] Wynn: Right...

[2/5/2014 10:47:08 PM] Kali: Allys: ... even a warmongering ass like St. Cuthbert.

[2/5/2014 10:48:44 PM] Wynn: Well, he seemed to think this plan of his would work for me. I see no reason why it wouldn't work for him as well. Perhaps together we could get him to shift his outlook.

[2/5/2014 10:49:08 PM] Wynn: If he really doesn't want me to wind up like him, it seems only fair he doesn't wind up that way either.

[2/5/2014 10:49:46 PM] Kali: Allys holds the book she brought, with her free hand, the practice mace in the other. "I have been working on shifting his outlook for quite some time. Perhaps you may have more success than I have had."

[2/5/2014 10:50:15 PM] Wynn: I think you may have been more successful than you realize.

[2/5/2014 10:50:39 PM] Kali: Allys: How so?

[2/5/2014 10:51:07 PM] Wynn: Well, if I am how he was at my age... his outlook is quite different from the one I have.

[2/5/2014 10:51:18 PM] Wynn: ..or at least the one I had upon abduction.

[2/5/2014 10:52:09 PM] Wynn: Even just in his stories, he seems like he's more tolerant now than he was.

[2/5/2014 10:52:23 PM] Kali: Allys: Let me simply cut to the chase, then. I have tried every single thing I can think of to get him to stop drinking.

[2/5/2014 10:53:12 PM] Wynn: Wynn nods. "That had crossed my mind as a possible course of action."

[2/5/2014 10:55:28 PM] Kali: Allys: I still have magic on my side, but it has taken some time to become proficient enough to do anything of significance.

[2/5/2014 10:55:52 PM] Wynn: Wynn looks interested. "Is there some spell that might help?"

[2/5/2014 10:56:23 PM] Kali: Allys: There's a spell for everything, provided one is powerful enough and willing to do what is necessary.

[2/5/2014 10:57:27 PM] Wynn: Well, I will defer to you as to what Tarak's penance should be, though sobriety certainly seems worthwhile. Perhaps framing it as such will allow him to embrace it.

[2/5/2014 10:58:05 PM] Wynn: I'd imagine the reason you've had trouble thus far is because he didn't *want* to change.

[2/5/2014 10:58:19 PM] Kali: Allys: He wants to forget. Everything.

[2/5/2014 10:58:48 PM] Wynn: Wynn frowns. "In what little experience I have with the stuff, alcohol doesn't help that at all."

[2/5/2014 10:59:09 PM] Kali: Allys: ... perhaps you're not aware, but all of this is my responsibility. If it hadn't been for me, he wouldn't be here at all. He would be at home, likely with a wife and children; grandchildren. And a dog. He likes dogs. I cannot imagine why.

[2/5/2014 10:59:54 PM] Wynn: He told me he followed you to the temple. But he also told me he doesn't blame you for any of it.

[2/5/2014 11:00:29 PM] Kali: Allys: He doesn't need to blame me; it's perfectly clear what happened.

[2/5/2014 11:00:46 PM] Wynn: Wynn smiles slightly. "Now you sound like me."

[2/5/2014 11:01:06 PM] Kali: Allys: The plan was that we would take care of each other. As you can see, I am perfectly intact; his duty is fulfilled beyond expectation. And he is... as you've seen.

[2/5/2014 11:01:46 PM | Edited 11:01:59 PM] Wynn: Wynn frowns. "But if they are his own choices, how can you blame yourself for it?"

[2/5/2014 11:02:36 PM] Wynn: Wynn sighs. "Blame is.... tricky. Seems there's more than enough to go around and most of us want to take it all for ourselves."

[2/5/2014 11:03:33 PM] Kali: Allys: I'm the one whose prayer was answered. He just... got caught in the circumstances.

[2/5/2014 11:04:32 PM] Kali: Allys: When we were children, we used to catch animals in the yard; I'd use a sling to hunt and kill pests -- snakes, mice.

[2/5/2014 11:05:44 PM] Kali: Allys: We found a wounded rabbit once. No, too small to be a rabbit, really. A bunny. It trembled, I recall, but it didn't seem able to move much beyond that. Likely its back had been broken.

[2/5/2014 11:06:28 PM] Wynn: Wynn is listening attentively.

[2/5/2014 11:07:59 PM] Kali: Allys: We knew it was dying, both of us. I don't know how we knew, we were too little to know a thing like that, but we did. I was going to leave it alone, but Tarak wouldn't have it. Then I offered to kill it; put it out of its misery with my sling. He wouldn't have that either.

[2/5/2014 11:11:08 PM] Kali: Allys: He picked it up. He brought it into the house, which would've cost us both a hiding if our parents had found out. He brought out an old baby blanket and wrapped the bunny's lower half inside, so it would warm up after being out in the chilly fall air. And he stroked the rabbit's neck until it died, calm, in his hands.

[2/5/2014 11:11:22 PM] Kali: Allys: And then he got a shovel and buried it.

[2/5/2014 11:11:38 PM] Kali: Allys: *That* is what I took from Tarak. *That* is what he is owed.

[2/5/2014 11:12:00 PM] Wynn: ..... I'm sorry.

[2/5/2014 11:12:44 PM] Kali: Allys nods. "Now you see."

[2/5/2014 11:13:05 PM] Wynn: You know... he said something else to me earlier.

[2/5/2014 11:13:33 PM] Wynn: I don't want to sound insensitive or anything, but he was still a child at the time.

[2/5/2014 11:13:50 PM] Wynn: It is entirely possible that he could have become more calloused over time, even if he hadn't followed you.

[2/5/2014 11:14:29 PM] Kali: Allys: You don't understand at all, then. He's still like that.

[2/5/2014 11:15:20 PM] Kali: Allys: He's *still* the same person. He'd do the same thing now. He's *not* calloused. He feels everything.

[2/5/2014 11:16:06 PM] Wynn: Then I know him even less than I thought.

[2/5/2014 11:16:23 PM] Wynn: But I will do what I can to help you.

[2/5/2014 11:18:46 PM] Wynn: Do you think it is the alcohol that is holding him back, or something else?

[2/5/2014 11:19:02 PM] Kali: Allys: I don't know. He just doesn't want to feel anything anymore.

[2/5/2014 11:19:54 PM] Wynn: I asked him why he didn't follow when you left the Saint's service.

[2/5/2014 11:20:24 PM] Kali: Allys: I've never managed to get an answer about that.

[2/5/2014 11:20:38 PM] Wynn: He said "Because I said I'd do it."

[2/5/2014 11:21:39 PM] Kali: Allys stares at Wynn.

[2/5/2014 11:21:42 PM] Wynn: He seems to share your opinion of the Saint, but will not go back on his oath.

[2/5/2014 11:22:26 PM] Kali: She laughs a bitter little laugh. "Idealist to the last, then, clearly."

[2/5/2014 11:23:02 PM] Wynn: I'm not sure how a gentle soul can coexist with that sort of service.

[2/5/2014 11:23:45 PM] Kali: Allys: By tearing itself in two, apparently.

[2/5/2014 11:25:33 PM] Wynn: Have you considered asking him to transition from Paladin to Priest, even if still in service to the Saint?

[2/5/2014 11:27:33 PM] Kali: Allys: I cannot ask him to do that. I've done enough harm.

[2/5/2014 11:28:57 PM] Wynn: How could it hurt? Priesthood is still important... and less martial.

[2/5/2014 11:29:07 PM] Wynn: Obviously *you* know that.

[2/5/2014 11:29:53 PM] Kali: Allys: Not much less. Not for the Bloody Saint. And ... I doubt he'll change his mind, if that's what he told you.

[2/5/2014 11:31:20 PM] Wynn: Wynn shakes her head. "I'm at a loss."

[2/5/2014 11:32:01 PM] Wynn: Obviously you know more about the situation and I don't know what has been attempted. I still stand by what I said, though. I'll help you any way I can. You just need to ask.

[2/5/2014 11:32:28 PM] Kali: Allys: Asking for help is not one of my particular skills.

[2/5/2014 11:32:53 PM] Wynn: Wynn smiles. "It never is. Not for any of us who heard the call."

[2/5/2014 11:33:26 PM] Wynn: I still need to decide on a punishment, though. Do you have an idea?

[2/5/2014 11:34:17 PM] Wynn: I know mine will have to be significant to feel worthy of my sins. I can only imagine he'll feel even more strongly about it.

[2/5/2014 11:34:25 PM] Kali: Allys: ... I can't think of anything that would hurt him more than what he already has to do.

[2/5/2014 11:35:41 PM] Wynn: ....at least his were done in service to his god. I have to admit I am still unsure why he feels the way he does.

[2/5/2014 11:36:57 PM] Kali: Allys: I don't know. We were never much alike.

[2/5/2014 11:37:31 PM] Wynn: Wynn smiles. "He admired you, you know. Probably still does."

[2/5/2014 11:38:31 PM] Kali: Allys: As noted, we were never much alike; he is an idiot.

[2/5/2014 11:38:46 PM] Wynn: Wynn laughs a little.

[2/5/2014 11:39:48 PM] Wynn: Wynn frowns.

[2/5/2014 11:39:55 PM] Wynn: There is one thing I'd like to ask about.

[2/5/2014 11:40:17 PM] Kali: Allys: And what is that?

[2/5/2014 11:40:31 PM] Wynn: I understand if you don't want to talk about it, but... your apprentice.

[2/5/2014 11:41:02 PM] Kali: Allys's lips tighten again. "What of it?"

[2/5/2014 11:41:26 PM] Wynn: What happened that hurt you so badly?

[2/5/2014 11:42:15 PM] Kali: Allys: To him? Nothing. He was fine. I believe he delivers mail in some tiny village somewhere and has three children.

[2/5/2014 11:43:09 PM] Wynn: Then why did Tarak's comment hurt so much?

[2/5/2014 11:43:34 PM] Kali: Allys: Because he quit the same way I did.

[2/5/2014 11:44:08 PM] Wynn: ....Tarak didn't tell me about it.

[2/5/2014 11:44:36 PM] Kali: Allys: Well. He was wounded, then he left. That has nothing to do with it.

[2/5/2014 11:45:15 PM] Wynn: Wynn chuckles a little under her breath. "Yes, you are definitely related."

[2/5/2014 11:45:30 PM] Wynn: You've both given me the same non-answer.

[2/5/2014 11:45:43 PM] Wynn: I feel like there is some secret password question I don't know.

[2/5/2014 11:46:02 PM] Kali: Allys: We never left the war. We won.

[2/5/2014 11:46:21 PM] Kali: Allys: But if Tarak *had* left, he would have left because he hated it. He drank himself into a stupor afterward because he hated it.

[2/5/2014 11:46:30 PM] Kali: Allys: He hated everything about it.

[2/5/2014 11:46:40 PM] Kali: Allys: I left because I *didn't.*

[2/5/2014 11:47:31 PM | Edited 11:47:44 PM] Wynn: Wynn still looks confused.

[2/5/2014 11:49:07 PM] Kali: She picks up the macelike practice weapon. "I *enjoyed* crushing skulls and mangling bodies, smashing bone into brain and organs into mush. Seeing the terror in my enemies' eyes, bearing down on them from horseback, screaming a rallying cry..."

[2/5/2014 11:51:20 PM] Kali: Allys: Spreading death and destruction whereever I went in the name of the god. Yes, I enjoyed that a great deal.

[2/5/2014 11:51:31 PM] Kali: She sets the mace down with a curl of her lip.

[2/5/2014 11:51:41 PM] Wynn: Until?

[2/5/2014 11:52:55 PM] Kali: Allys: There was no "until." When it was over I saw that I was a monster and decided to make some attempt to snatch at some bare remaining shred of humanity.

[2/5/2014 11:54:56 PM] Wynn: ...so now you, a pacifist, and your brother, a man who hates killing, travel the planes killing people?

[2/5/2014 11:55:21 PM] Kali: Allys: We protect people. He kills them when it's necessary, and I make sure he survives it.

[2/5/2014 11:56:57 PM] Wynn: You know... I've never actually spoken much to another paladin. I was trained by a priest.

[2/5/2014 11:57:30 PM] Wynn: There seems to be a bit of a disconnect between what I was taught and what you two have told me.

[2/5/2014 11:57:51 PM] Kali: Allys: Possibly. Consider that we may not even come from the same world.

[2/5/2014 11:58:01 PM] Wynn: Wynn nods.

[2/5/2014 11:58:29 PM] Kali: Allys: And that Tarak hasn't been sober in over a decade.

[2/5/2014 11:59:40 PM] Wynn: That's not really what I mean, though. Just that.. well, I was taught to kill with overwhelming force, but never about *who* really deserved it.

[12:00:17 AM] Wynn: There were some questions raised earlier that I had no answers for... and more have sprung up with you.

[12:00:49 AM] Wynn: I guess I just understand Tarak's comment about being a knife a little better today than when he said it.

[12:03:52 AM] Kali: Allys: He wasn't always like this.

[12:05:00 AM] Wynn: Well maybe between the three of us, we can find some middle ground for him to travel.

[12:05:54 AM] Kali: Allys: I am still hoping to undo the damage I did somehow. But feel free to try.

[12:07:58 AM] Wynn: You said the way he feels is his choice. If that's true, maybe this idea of his is his way of asking for help. Maybe you've finally gotten through to him.

[12:08:26 AM] Kali: Allys: Perhaps.

[12:08:37 AM] Wynn: If he thinks he needs to suffer to overcome his demons, it's worth a try.

[12:09:15 AM] Kali: Allys: I just want the boy with the bunny back. That's all. The way he was before I offered him up to be destroyed.

[12:11:41 AM] Wynn: Wynn sighs. "I know I'd love nothing more than to have my sister back as well, and though yours is more likely to happen, you have to realize it's not likely to get him back as he was."

[12:12:28 AM] Kali: Allys: Well. We shall have to see.

[12:12:31 AM] Kali: She picks up her book.

[12:12:43 AM] Wynn: Wynn nods.

[12:13:25 AM] Wynn: Thank you for speaking with me.

[12:13:52 AM] Kali: Allys: I could hardly refuse, given the circumstances. And now I have work to do. Good afternoon.

[12:13:56 AM] Kali: She sweeps out regally.

[12:14:12 AM] Wynn: Wynn leaves.