PBA 024b

[3/4/2014 5:56:01 PM] Light: When Wynn's watch over Janis (who is sleeping) is nearly over, Grayson opens the door quietly, balancing two mugs in one hand and holding the door with the other.

[3/4/2014 5:56:57 PM] Wynn: Wynn looks up at the sound and gives him a sort of half smile.

[3/4/2014 5:58:50 PM] Wynn: Wynn is sitting against a wall, reading another of Tarak's books.

[3/4/2014 5:59:31 PM] Light: Grayson keeps his voice low. "I brought tea and cocoa. Wasn't sure which one you--oh, I've read that. It didn't make sense the first two times."

[3/4/2014 6:00:08 PM] Wynn: Yeah, it's.... not easy to read.

[3/4/2014 6:01:19 PM] Wynn: She's a pretty sound sleeper. She hasn't stirred even with my clankiness sitting down.

[3/4/2014 6:01:33 PM] Light: Grayson: Disturbing. Anyway, tea or cocoa?

[3/4/2014 6:02:08 PM] Wynn: Cocoa, I suppose. Why is it disturbing?

[3/4/2014 6:02:53 PM] Light: Grayson hands her the cocoa mug. It's hot.

[3/4/2014 6:03:03 PM] Wynn: Wynn accepts it. "Thank you."

[3/4/2014 6:03:13 PM] Wynn: Pull up a tile, if you like.

[3/4/2014 6:04:10 PM] Light: Grayson sits down next to Wynn. "Well, generally people being possessed isn't a good thing."

[3/4/2014 6:04:37 PM] Wynn: No, not in any stories I've ever heard.

[3/4/2014 6:04:56 PM] Wynn: I thought you were referring specifically to her sleeping soundly.

[3/4/2014 6:05:36 PM] Light: Grayson: If I knew it wasn't *because* of the possession part...

[3/4/2014 6:05:58 PM] Wynn: ...I don't know if it is. She might just be a heavy sleeper.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:07:21 PM] Wynn: Anyway, I'm not tired yet, and you seemed like you wanted to talk earlier.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:08:19 PM] Light: Grayson: Well, what would you do if you found out that's how you end up?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:09:57 PM] Wynn: I don't know.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:10:06 PM] Wynn: He's really not so bad, though.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:11:11 PM] Wynn: Besides, I think the person you are is built by your experiences, and, since you're here and he wasn't, you shouldn't become him.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:11:45 PM] Light: Grayson: Is it your experiences, though, or is it just the way you're born?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:12:43 PM] Wynn: .....I think the way you're born has an impact on how you react to those experiences, but overall, experiences have a larger effect.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:13:09 PM] Wynn: I mean... if Tarak--- if he hadn't become a paladin in the first place, he'd be a totally different person now.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:13:51 PM] Wynn: A lot of the way he is now is because of the war. If you don't have those experiences, you'll be different.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:14:42 PM] Light: Grayson: You don't know that for sure, though. ... and if I'm called to go, I'll go.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:15:14 PM] Wynn: Well... if there was another one, and a way for you to get there. For now, you're here and there is no war.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:15:48 PM] Wynn: And now that you've had the experience of seeing how he is, you'd make different choices.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:16:05 PM] Light: Grayson: I can't really *know* that, either.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:17:04 PM] Wynn: You don't trust yourself not to turn to alcohol?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:19:33 PM] Light: Grayson: Not after I've seen it.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:20:24 PM] Wynn: Maybe you just think too much.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:20:42 PM] Light: Grayson: I think a lot.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:21:29 PM] Wynn: I try not to.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:22:24 PM] Light: Grayson: ... if you don't think, how do you do your job?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:24:02 PM] Wynn: Well, I look at the situation and figure out what the right action is, then do it. Same as anyone, I'd say.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:24:28 PM] Wynn: It's not like there's usually a lot of time to analyze things before actions are needed.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:25:52 PM] Wynn: I just mean during downtime.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:26:28 PM] Light: Grayson: ... I can't really turn my brain off, though.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:27:40 PM] Wynn: It takes some practice. I find really tedious things to do and focus on them, like grooming horses or shining my shield.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:28:24 PM] Wynn: If that fails, I go to the training room.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:28:27 PM] Wynn: Wynn smiles a little.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:30:18 PM] Light: Grayson: That's usually the best time to think.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:30:27 PM] Light: Grayson: Although I reeeeally don't like horses.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:30:38 PM] Wynn: Yeah, I know.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:30:55 PM] Wynn: Although, had I thought about it, I'd have thought that was more war experience.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:31:18 PM] Light: Grayson: ... I hate that everyone here knows everything about me, and I don't know anything about them.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:31:44 PM] Wynn: I'm sorry. That must be annoying.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:32:18 PM] Light: Grayson: I just have no idea what that guy told everybody about me.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:32:49 PM] Wynn: Well, obviously Allys knows the most, and I know more than any of the others. He doesn't talk much to the others.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:32:52 PM] Light: Grayson: My favorite color? What kind of underwear I wear? Hopes and dreams? My opinion on tomatoes?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:33:09 PM] Wynn: Wynn shakes her head. "Nope. Don't know any of them.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:33:17 PM] Light: Grayson: Never trust a tomato.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:33:32 PM] Wynn: Wynn smiles. "No?"

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:35:11 PM] Light: Grayson: Yeah, they're always plannin' somethin'.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:35:37 PM] Light: A little of Tarak's accent sneaks into his voice.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:36:10 PM] Wynn: ((Didn't realize they spoke differently! Other than the slurring, obviously))

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:38:28 PM] Light: ((Grayson sounds more like Allys.))

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:39:02 PM] Wynn: Anyway, say it's because I don't like to think, especially about things that are complicated, but I prefer to think of you as a long-lost brother of theirs.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:39:53 PM] Wynn: I don't assume I know much about you.... and would probably think most of what I know about Tarak comes from the war and after.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:40:28 PM] Light: Grayson: Blue. Clean. Helping people. And untrustworthy.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:41:25 PM] Wynn: Well, it's nice to meet you, Mr. Blue Clean Helper.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:41:51 PM] Light: Grayson: That's color, underwear, hopes and dreams and tomatoes.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:42:06 PM] Wynn: Wynn smiles again. "I caught that."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:43:33 PM] Light: Grayson: I'm gonna have to work harder to get you to laugh at my jokes.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:44:08 PM] Wynn: Sorry. I had a bit of a rough day.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:45:12 PM] Wynn: Or as Tarak likes to say, I'm too serious. Take whichever you like.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:45:54 PM] Light: Grayson: I don't think you're too serious. There's serious things happening.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:46:53 PM] Wynn: Every day.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:50:31 PM] Light: Grayson: Well, to be fair, that's all the more reason to laugh, isn't it?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:51:10 PM] Wynn: Wynn shrugs. "Maybe."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:52:43 PM] Light: Grayson: Bad things happen; it's how you react that counts.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:53:30 PM] Wynn: Wynn turns a little pink and looks down at her mug.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:54:17 PM] Wynn: And what do you do when you realize that how you react isn't something to be proud of?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:54:46 PM] Light: Grayson: Depends. What happened? You know, theoretically.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:55:39 PM] Wynn: When we first met, you thought Tarak had Fallen.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:56:01 PM] Wynn: How would you react to that, to a sudden loss of all your powers?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:57:24 PM] Light: Grayson: Honestly? ... I think I'd be pissed.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:58:32 PM] Wynn: And what would you *do*?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:59:05 PM] Light: Grayson: ... never really thought about it before.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 6:59:22 PM] Light: Grayson: Well, I'd atone for it. However long it took, that's what I'd do.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:01:26 PM] Wynn: ...I forgot about that. I'd even mentioned it to Tarak a couple days ago.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:03:20 PM] Light: Grayson: I'd be pretty mad. But I made vows, so.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:03:55 PM] Wynn: Would you keep your oath even after losing your connection to the Saint?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:04:37 PM] Light: Grayson: ... well yeah. I made a vow.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:05:13 PM] Light: Grayson: It's ... not exactly an equal relationship.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:05:35 PM | Edited 7:05:55 PM] Wynn: I never thought about it before. I'd never even considered the idea that I might fail.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:05:44 PM] Wynn: Just another of those things I try not to think about.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:07:12 PM] Light: Grayson: That's why you should think about it ahead of time, though. Then when it happens, it's not as bad as it could have been because you already have a plan.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:09:00 PM] Wynn: Wynn stares into her mug, trying to make order of the chaos in her head.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:09:43 PM] Light: Grayson: Then you just implement the plan.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:10:06 PM] Light: Grayson: Besides, it's not like you're alone or anything. Everybody here'd help you.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:10:47 PM] Wynn: I'm not so sure about that.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:12:29 PM] Wynn: Wynn meets his eyes. "I don't talk about things like this. Things that make me look.... weak. So this... doesn't leave this room. Ok?"

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:13:16 PM] Light: Grayson nods. "Of course."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:13:34 PM] Wynn: While we were in the compression field, there was an intricate illusion of Nation. It convinced me that by leaving Valerian behind, I had Fallen.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:14:00 PM] Wynn: I didn't get angry or go off to find him. I didn't seek atonement or make sure everyone else was safe.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:14:07 PM] Wynn: I sat down in the hall and cried.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:14:49 PM] Wynn: Janis, real Janis, saw me crying, but I'm not sure she knew the extent of it.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:15:03 PM] Light: Grayson nods.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:15:44 PM] Wynn: Nobody else came to look for me. Fake Allys spoke down to me, Fake Tarak slammed his door in my face.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:17:25 PM] Wynn: I *am* my office. Without the Saint to hold me up, I have nothing.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:17:40 PM] Light: Grayson: That's not true.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:18:45 PM] Wynn: You don't know me.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:19:09 PM] Light: Grayson: I really don't, but I don't have to to know that.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:21:50 PM] Wynn: I hide it, I ignore it, but today? That illusion took that part of me out and hung it on the wall for me to examine.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:22:17 PM] Light: Grayson: ... maybe it's a good thing, though. Now you can plan for it, right?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:23:24 PM] Wynn: Wynn scoffs. "Plan for being completely useless? Yeah, there's something I want to do."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:25:28 PM] Light: Grayson: ... but the other people in your group aren't paladins and they're not completely useless.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:26:28 PM] Wynn: No, they're not.... but they aren't *me* either.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:27:47 PM] Light: Grayson: ... it really wouldn't help if they were.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:27:50 PM] Light: Grayson: Trust me on that.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:28:18 PM] Wynn: Wynn takes a deep breath. "It doesn't matter. I just have to do what I can to do the right thing."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:29:44 PM] Light: Grayson: Right.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:29:54 PM] Light: Grayson: Having powers doesn't make you special.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:30:44 PM] Wynn: I think you misunderstand me. I meant to do the right thing so I don't have to worry about being without them again.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:31:36 PM] Wynn: Wynn shakes her head. "Anyway, that's enough of that."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:33:35 PM] Wynn: How are you settling into things around here?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:33:54 PM] Light: Grayson: ... but that doesn't make any sense.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:37:19 PM] Light: Grayson: It doesn't matter if you have powers or not if you do the right thing.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:37:44 PM] Light: Grayson: If it was between doing the right thing and being able to swing a big mace around, it's not even a contest, is it?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:38:04 PM] Wynn: It must be nice to have that kind of confidence in yourself naturally.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:39:05 PM] Light: Grayson: ... why do you think it's natural?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:39:59 PM] Wynn: Well, I have confidence because of my powers. I know I'm right, or I wouldn't have them. Without them.... well, it wasn't pretty.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:40:25 PM] Light: Grayson: Oh. ... huh. I mostly have confidence because I'm a fuck-up. Um. Pardon the language.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:41:01 PM] Wynn: It doesn't bother me.... and that seems a bit backwards to me.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:42:43 PM] Light: Grayson: Well, I grew up with Allys, you know? She does everything better than me. She fights harder, reacts quicker, runs faster and can do it all way longer than me.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:42:50 PM] Light: Grayson: She even dances better than me.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:43:50 PM] Wynn: That doesn't really sound like it would be good for confidence.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:45:10 PM] Light: Grayson: Well, eventually I figured out it was stupid to compete with her.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:45:27 PM] Light: Grayson: She teaches me to do stuff, I practice with her and I get as good as I can get. She's still better.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:46:05 PM] Light: Grayson: But I found other stuff to be good at, so it's okay. I can cook better, for one thing. Allys can burn *water.*

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:46:34 PM] Wynn: Wynn smiles slightly. "I guess this isn't the time to point out that she taught me to make bread."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:46:49 PM] Wynn: She still thinks Tarak is the better cook, though.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:47:54 PM] Light: Grayson: ... really? I taught her that when she was 12. She couldn't get the dough to rise, and then she burned it.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:48:40 PM] Wynn: Her first day here, she made some really good pancakes, too.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:48:54 PM] Wynn: I guess she's been practicing.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:49:22 PM] Wynn: ...now that she's not merrily smashing heads and all that...

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:50:12 PM] Light: Grayson: ... wow.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:50:33 PM] Light: Grayson: Well I'll be. She was actually listening to me.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:53:22 PM] Wynn: I can't even imagine what this all must be like for you.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:55:27 PM] Light: Grayson: Disturbing sometimes. ... but that's good news. And Allys stuck with me too, so that's good.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:57:26 PM] Wynn: Wynn frowns. "I know you don't like to think of yourself as a copy or anything, but I hope you are. I don't want to think about Allys without you."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:58:35 PM] Light: Grayson: Yeah. ... she'll be okay, though. She's still at school.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:58:55 PM] Light: Grayson: ... I feel like I'm real. You know?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:59:21 PM] Light: Grayson: My toes are all there. The scar I got from the cat when I was three is still there. I feel like me.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 7:59:27 PM] Wynn: That's not what I--- I don't know how to explain it.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:00:35 PM] Wynn: I'm sure you are a real person... I just hope that when she brought you here, she left you there too.... although I guess that means you'd still wind up as Tarak.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:00:46 PM] Wynn: Wynn makes a face. "This is why I don't like to think."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:01:47 PM] Light: Grayson: So what *is* he really like? ... minus all the ways he's like me, 'cause I already know that.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:02:53 PM] Wynn: Well, he'll still charge off into a storm to rescue people he barely knows, even when some of them are downright mean to him.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:03:38 PM] Wynn: He drinks and sleeps around, but I think that's just to forget the war. And he acts like a jerk, but only to keep people from getting too close.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:04:35 PM] Light: Grayson: He drinks *and* he sleeps around? There are more vices? Jeez, is he into absentia, too?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:05:16 PM] Wynn: Absentia?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:06:26 PM] Light: Grayson: ... it lets you "ride" other consciousnesses. You can't do anything but you experience what they do.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:06:43 PM] Light: Grayson: No, I haven't ever tried it--it's extremely addictive.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:07:23 PM] Wynn: Well, I don't know, but I've never even heard of it.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:07:41 PM] Wynn: As far as I know, that's him in a nutshell.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:08:43 PM] Light: Grayson: I drink and I sleep around and I act like a jerk. See, now I *want* a drink.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:10:30 PM] Wynn: I don't know what to say. On the one hand, I don't want you to think he's a total screw-up, because he's not... but on the other, I don't want to see you end up like him because I think it could be better.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:11:05 PM] Light: Grayson: Well I'm not actually getting a drink. It's just... man. I wonder when I start sleeping around. I've never even had a girlfriend.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:12:37 PM] Wynn: Well I'm pretty sure the circumstances will be different for you, so it doesn't matter what they were for him. Everything that happened to him since the day you were taken from your time is just his now.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:13:34 PM] Light: Grayson: That kind of thing never seemed to matter much. I mean... we're probably going to die young anyway, right?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:13:44 PM] Wynn: Probably.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:14:26 PM] Light: Grayson: Well, there you go. There's no time for that.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:14:39 PM] Wynn: Nope.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:16:34 PM] Light: He shakes his head. "I always thought it was nice not to have to think about it."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:17:04 PM] Wynn: Wynn smiles. "Now you sound like me."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:19:11 PM] Light: Grayson: Well, just imagine if we *weren't* paladins.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:19:43 PM] Light: Grayson: Allys would be off by herself ... *not* learning to cook or when to stop hacking at somebody after they're down.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:20:15 PM] Light: Grayson: Annnnd I'd be back in the village with my aunts throwing girls at me, because that's what they do at our age.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:20:27 PM] Light: Grayson: And they just keep throwin' 'em, til one sticks.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:20:46 PM] Wynn: There are worse fates.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:21:17 PM] Light: Grayson makes a face. "Sometimes they cry when you tell 'em."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:24:49 PM] Wynn: Well, I guess I know that about you too.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:26:27 PM] Light: Grayson: Know what?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:26:38 PM] Wynn: That you have a weakness for tears.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:27:20 PM] Light: Grayson: It's not a weakness. I just don't like to see people in pain.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:28:28 PM] Wynn: Wynn grins a little. "If you say so."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:30:13 PM] Light: Grayson: Well, do you?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:30:54 PM] Wynn: Enjoy seeing people in pain? Of course not.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:31:11 PM] Wynn: But I also like to think I wouldn't be manipulated by some tears.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:31:55 PM] Light: Grayson: I'm not *manipulated* that way. I can tell when they're real.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:33:06 PM] Wynn: Well, maybe it's just Tarak, then... or maybe there was more to the story than what he told me.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:34:34 PM] Light: Grayson: You can't tell when people mean it?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:35:50 PM] Wynn: I don't know. I've never really tested my abilities in that way.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:36:11 PM] Wynn: I just know that Tarak recently had to make a decision and the deciding factor certainly seemed to be that the girl had cried at him.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:36:51 PM] Light: Grayson: Maybe she meant it. What decision?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:37:41 PM] Wynn: I'm sure she did... but he went against what he wanted.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:39:06 PM] Light: Grayson: Well, sure. We all sacrifice the things we want for the good of other people, right?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:39:44 PM] Wynn: Of course.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:40:53 PM] Light: Grayson shrugs. "Then what's the problem? Unless it was horrific pain or something. What was the decision?"

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:44:33 PM] Wynn: Well, I guess it's "out" now... but Allys doesn't know, and if you value Tarak's skin, you may not want to tell her.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:45:06 PM] Wynn: We have a guest on board who was effectively suicidal over the inability to have children, and she asked him to help her.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:46:39 PM] Light: Grayson: He must have a *lot* more magic than me.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:46:49 PM] Wynn: ....not like that.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:47:02 PM] Light: Grayson: Not like that? Then h...

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:47:33 PM] Light: He trails off, and then his face turns red, slowly, from the neck all the way up to his hair. "... oh."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:48:22 PM] Wynn: He came to me thinking I'd talk him out of it.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:49:56 PM] Light: Grayson: Why didn't you?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:50:37 PM] Wynn: Well, for one thing, I didn't know that's what he wanted from me. I thought he just needed to make a decision.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:51:15 PM] Wynn: Secondly, I didn't see a reason for him not to. He doesn't want children, but she doesn't want a father in the picture anyway.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:51:39 PM] Light: Grayson: Kids are gross. But they're kinda fun, too.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:56:39 PM] Wynn: I'm really not sure why he assumed I'd be against it.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:59:01 PM] Light: Grayson: Well, he doesn't sound like he's gonna be the father of the year.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 8:59:44 PM] Wynn: That's the point, though. He's just giving her the kid. She doesn't want the father to be there.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:00:46 PM] Wynn: That's the point I'd have the most trouble with, but.... if it helps her... I don't know.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:01:19 PM] Light: Grayson: Guess I grew up a lot then. I'd never be able to do that.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:03:50 PM] Wynn: Not "never"... there's obviously some circumstance when you would.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:04:29 PM] Wynn: Like when you're nearing your suspected "expiration date" and realize your family's line will die with you.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:06:11 PM] Light: Grayson: Not that part. I mean just... give up a kid like that. I mean, you'd know, wouldn't you?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:06:28 PM] Light: Grayson: Maybe he or she would even look like you. And then just... not seeing them, ever again?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:07:40 PM] Wynn: Well, if you really want answers, I'd suggest talking to him about it.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:07:56 PM] Light: Grayson: Would you?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:08:04 PM] Wynn: Would I what?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:08:24 PM] Light: Grayson: Be able to give up your kid like that. Somebody you cared for.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:08:54 PM] Wynn: I don't know. I won't have kids, so I don't have to think about it.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:09:17 PM] Light: Grayson: How do you know?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:09:44 PM] Wynn: That I won't have kids? I'm pretty sure I have the ability to prevent it.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:10:54 PM] Light: Grayson: Of course. But you can't be sure you'll never change your mind. Maybe you'll end up in some village with the little old ladies throwing boys at you.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:11:34 PM] Wynn: It might have been in some other version of my life, but this is me now. There's no room for family in this life.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:12:59 PM] Light: Grayson: If that were true old-cranky-me wouldn't still be hanging around with his sister.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:13:09 PM] Light: Grayson: His *alleged* sister.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:13:35 PM] Light: Grayson: Because she's about as unlike Allys as anyone, ever. Apart from the face. And the generalized bitchiness.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:13:52 PM] Wynn: You still have doubts?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:14:21 PM] Light: Grayson: She has all that hair. And she wears *makeup.*

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:14:29 PM] Light: Grayson: And dresses.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:15:43 PM] Light: Grayson: *I* have worn dresses more than Allys has. ... I did a lot of babysitting, all right? It was the shoes I didn't like. And the makeup. Gods. Glitter is like a horrible contagious ... what were we talking about again.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:16:15 PM] Wynn: Wynn chuckles softly.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:16:54 PM] Light: Grayson: They liked braiding my hair, too.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:18:12 PM] Light: Grayson: The boys *mostly* liked wrestling. And a lot of them hit me in the yarbles, which, you know, good teaching opportunity there.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:19:49 PM] Wynn: I was the oldest of five girls. We usually just played tag or told stories. Flower halos, things like that.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:20:50 PM] Light: Grayson: Didn't mind the flowers, they always smelled good and there weren't a lot of bees.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:23:46 PM] Light: Grayson: I like kids. When they aren't barfing or peeing or eating dirt, they're okay.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:24:06 PM] Wynn: Wynn smiles. "Mostly."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:26:16 PM] Wynn: All the more reason not to have one. It would be unfair to them.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:27:18 PM] Light: Grayson: I guess. Depends on where you're called, really. Aren't there paladin teachers and stuff?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:27:36 PM] Wynn: I don't know. I was trained by a cleric.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:27:57 PM] Light: Grayson: Oh. We had a paladin.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:27:59 PM] Light: He shrugs.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:29:03 PM] Wynn: I have less than five years left, if we don't find a way to fix Nation, and ten if we do.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:30:48 PM] Wynn: Always living with the chance of being called away, apart from your family for who knows how long, never knowing if you'll come home....

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:31:41 PM] Light: Grayson: What? How do you know that you're gonna die in five years?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:32:14 PM] Wynn: The people who wake up on this ship are cursed. None of them have lasted longer than five years.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:32:55 PM] Light: Grayson: ... huh. Well, sounds like we'll just have to break the curse.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:34:42 PM] Wynn: For everyone else's sake, that's what we've been working towards, but it won't make much of a difference to me.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:36:09 PM] Light: Grayson: You... have some weird ideas.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:37:23 PM] Wynn: Why?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:38:39 PM] Wynn: I had no life when I swore my oath. I was as good as dead without it. Now, I'll fight and keep fighting for the Saint. When I run out of bad things to fight, I'll look for more. Saint willing, I'll die with my mace in my hand because *this* is what I am here for now.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:39:55 PM] Light: Grayson: That sounds good, but you think you're not worth anything without the powers and you think they mean you can't have any kind of a life outside of .... I don't know, beating things up.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:40:44 PM] Wynn: I'm not, and I can't.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:41:37 PM] Wynn: Sitting in a village somewhere getting girls thrown at you... that's where you'd be without the Saint.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:41:41 PM] Wynn: I'd be dead.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:42:39 PM] Light: Grayson: Yeah, but you're not dead. You know, maybe he doesn't actually *want* us all to get killed on the battlefield. It's not a great retirement plan to hold up to new recruits, you know?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:44:13 PM] Wynn: You'll never be so powerful that there isn't something left to fight.... and one day, your strength wll wane.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:44:51 PM] Light: Grayson: Not all paladins even *do* fight.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:46:37 PM] Light: Grayson: Some of us are judges, or evangelists, or we build colonies or keep order in cities. We do lots of things. Not everything is war and killing.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:47:28 PM] Wynn: That's not what I was taught to do.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:49:19 PM] Light: Grayson: Well if Allys can make bread that doesn't resemble a charcoal briquette, I'm *pretty* sure you can learn any of that stuff. Maybe old me knows some of that stuff.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:50:49 PM] Wynn: What does it matter? I'd go where I was called, do what I was told. Doesn't change the other things.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:51:49 PM] Light: Grayson: ... you don't even think of yourself as a person anymore, do you? You're just a tool, like a hammer or a wheelbarrow. That's not right.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:53:12 PM] Wynn: Why not? I'd think you'd understand that. My life, my whole reason for being, is to serve the Saint.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:55:03 PM] Light: Grayson: ...seems to me he might maybe find a person more useful than a hammer. By an' large people are a whole lot more useful.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:58:42 PM] Wynn: At least I have *some* use in this capacity.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:59:17 PM] Light: Grayson: You'd be *more* useful as a person. Trust me on that one.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 9:59:44 PM] Wynn: As you told me, "I'm pretty sure I'm a person."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:00:10 PM] Light: Grayson: Yeah, but you should *be* a person. You're better than hammers.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:00:37 PM] Wynn: And like I said... you don't even know me. Maybe I'm not.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:01:32 PM] Light: Grayson: Of course you are.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:03:19 PM] Wynn: My family was being slaughtered. I ran. I killed a man in a drunken rage. I ran. I thought I lost my powers, and I ran then cried.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:03:36 PM] Wynn: *That* is who I am under this armor. Under these powers.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:04:22 PM] Light: Grayson: That's *part* of it. The rest is what you learn from that. How you grow. Hammers don't grow; people do.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:10:54 PM | Edited 10:11:07 PM] Wynn: (sarcastically) Clearly, as evidenced by today's reaction, I have grown.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:11:27 PM] Light: Grayson: Well, maybe. Maybe not. That part's up to you, isn't it?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:12:47 PM] Wynn: I.... don't want to think about it anymore.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:13:27 PM] Light: Grayson: Well, I'd say let's have a drink but I have to watch Janis. And also, not become a drunken lech.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:15:27 PM] Wynn: I'm sorry. It's nice to finally have someone to talk to, it's just...

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:16:49 PM] Wynn: I don't know... thinking about these things never turns out well, and talking about it hasn't exactly been fun either.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:17:39 PM] Light: Grayson: Well, we could make a plan. Or you could go and get some rest and I could take over.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:18:18 PM] Wynn: If you want me to go, I can, but it won't be to sleep just yet.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:19:56 PM] Light: Grayson: No, it's nice talking to somebody who... well. Allys isn't exactly introspective.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:23:03 PM] Wynn: Well, Mr. Blue Clean Helper... at least now you can say you know more about someone on this ship than anyone else does.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:26:06 PM] Light: Grayson: That... actually does help. Thanks. It's... weird not having Allys around. Re--well. My Allys, anyway.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:29:02 PM] Wynn: I'd say I understand, but... well, I think your experience is pretty unique.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:33:06 PM] Light: Grayson: Well it's not unique anymore.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:33:08 PM] Light: He grins.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:33:41 PM] Wynn: Has someone else been magically transported into the future that I don't know about?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:34:21 PM] Light: Grayson: No, but there's two of me so I'm not unique anymore.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:34:45 PM] Wynn: Wynn smiles and shakes her head. "Right... that part."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:36:22 PM] Wynn: So tell me why you don't like horses.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:36:47 PM] Light: Grayson: They bite. And kick. And poop a lot.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:37:20 PM] Wynn: Wynn grins. "So do kids, but you like them."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:37:56 PM] Light: Grayson: Kids are way smarter than horses. Horses are crazy on four legs.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:41:08 PM] Wynn: Did you have any other siblings?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:41:32 PM] Light: Grayson: Nope. Just every kid in the village. Or they think they are, anyhow.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:43:48 PM] Wynn: Wynn smiles a little. "I'm not very good at small talk."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:45:44 PM] Light: Grayson: ... we're making small talk? ... is this a date?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:46:21 PM] Wynn: Wynn blinks. "Small talk equals a date? I was just trying to make conversation that didn't lead back into the pit of despair."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:47:13 PM] Light: Grayson: No. No, it doesn't. I just associate it with dates and other pointless things. Good. Pits of despair are bad.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:48:08 PM] Wynn: Wynn chuckles. "Other pointless things..."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:49:20 PM] Wynn: I don't generally view learning more about your companions as "pointless," but I also don't see much need for small talk.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:49:46 PM] Light: Grayson: No, *dates* are pointless.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:50:16 PM] Wynn: To people like us, agreed.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:51:45 PM | Edited 10:51:53 PM] Light: Grayson grins. "So what's *your* favorite color?"

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:52:00 PM] Light: Grayson: I'm not gonna ask about the other things.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:52:18 PM] Wynn: Wynn grins and then looks like she's thinking really hard.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:53:27 PM] Wynn: I guess I'd have to say green.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:54:51 PM] Light: Grayson: Grass green? Forest green? Turquoise?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:55:10 PM] Wynn: You are making this way too hard.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:55:12 PM] Wynn: Wynn laughs

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:56:27 PM] Wynn: Ok, got it.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:56:44 PM] Wynn: That almost blue-green that the hills turn when they're just on the edge of the horizon.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:57:42 PM] Light: Grayson: I make everything harder than it has to be. Well if you listen to my sister.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:58:26 PM] Light: Grayson: Oh, that blue-green-grey. Yeah, that's a good one.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:59:10 PM] Wynn: I mean, I might have said the soft grey of overcast clouds, but then you might get worried about me.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 10:59:14 PM] Wynn: Wynn grins.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:00:56 PM] Wynn: Rainy days were the best growing up. We couldn't play outside, so when my father would come home, he's play for us and we'd dance around the house.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:01:15 PM] Light: Grayson: What did he play?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:01:40 PM] Wynn: He had a lute his father had made.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:02:56 PM] Light: Grayson: Did you ever learn to play it?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:04:22 PM] Wynn: No. He kept it high on a shelf, and once I tried to sneak up to get it, but I was always clumsy. I dropped it and one of the little pieces broke off. I was always afraid to touch it after that.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:06:29 PM] Light: Grayson: Maybe you should give it another try.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:07:54 PM] Wynn: Wynn peers at him playfully. "You're trying to find me a hobby, aren't you?"

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:08:14 PM] Light: Grayson: Maybe I just want to start a band, did you ever think of that?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:08:28 PM] Wynn: And what do you play?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:10:22 PM] Light: Grayson: The kazoo, obviously.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:10:33 PM] Wynn: Obviously.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:11:35 PM] Light: Grayson grins.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:14:07 PM] Light: Grayson: Well, if you can learn a lute, maybe I can learn how to play something too.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:15:02 PM] Wynn: Something to do in the middle of the night when neither of us wants to sleep and we run out of small talk?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:16:17 PM] Light: Grayson: Sure. Is there anybody to take lessons from?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:17:02 PM] Wynn: Probably. Jhett's a musician. Plays the violin, but he might know others.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:17:21 PM] Wynn: Kestrel plays the dulcimer.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:17:46 PM] Light: Grayson: That's too high speed for me. Maybe a drum. I could maybe handle a drum.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:18:06 PM] Wynn: Hey now, hitting things is supposed to be *my* specialty.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:19:59 PM] Light: Grayson: And this is supposed to be a hobby.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:20:43 PM] Wynn: Well, maybe you should put those kazoo skills to use on the pipes, or a flute or something.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:20:46 PM] Wynn: Wynn grins.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:23:36 PM] Light: Grayson: I'll hit things, you lute, it'll be great.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:26:25 PM] Wynn: Well... I guess next time we find a world, we'll have to go shopping.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:28:28 PM] Light: Grayson: Awesome.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:30:08 PM] Wynn: ........I should go.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:30:28 PM] Light: Grayson:  All right, but why?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:31:12 PM] Wynn: Well..... it's late.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:31:45 PM] Light: Grayson: Oh, right. Sleep. Good idea. I'll be fine here; if I get too tired to stay awake I'll come get you--but I think I'll be fine.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:32:03 PM] Wynn: Do you want the book?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:32:16 PM] Wynn: Wynn stands and stretches.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:34:06 PM] Light: Grayson: Nah, I've read it a couple times.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:34:11 PM] Wynn: Did Tarak say he'd come take a shift? Or is waking up long enough too much of a problem?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:35:19 PM] Light: Grayson: I can get him instead if you want.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:35:35 PM] Wynn: Well, I just didn't want anyone to have to stay up all night.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:36:37 PM] Wynn: Wynn shrugs. "I'm right next door anyway.... and you can always just ask Nation to get someone if there's an actual problem."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:36:56 PM] Light: Grayson: No problem.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:36:58 PM] Wynn: Like I said, though, she hasn't moved since she fell asleep.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:37:20 PM] Wynn: ......Thanks, for talking with me.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:38:34 PM] Light: He smiles. "No problem."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:38:58 PM] Wynn: Wynn smiles back. "Good night."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/4/2014 11:40:14 PM] Light: He waves.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:02:43 PM] Light: Well, would it be after she woke up or before she had a chance to sleep?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:03:39 PM] Wynn: Either way. Could catch her coming out of Janis' room, or early morning (she usually wakes up early), so it just depends on how early you want to start the next real session.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:05:40 PM] Light: In that case, we'll go with coming out of Janis's room. He's just walking down the hall on his way to somewhere, frowning a little bit, and waves as he goes by.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:05:58 PM] Wynn: You're up late, Valerian.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:06:34 PM] Light: Val: I haven't really been sleeping well since I got here.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:06:53 PM] Wynn: Wynn nods. "At least a few people have that problem."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:07:12 PM] Light: Val: Restless.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:07:53 PM] Wynn: Too much energy to burn off or just hard to stop your brain?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:09:21 PM] Light: Val: Some of both, I guess.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:10:27 PM] Wynn: I'm *really* sorry about earlier.... and I am very glad that you found your way out safely.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:10:58 PM] Light: Val blinks. "... well, you were being mindcontrolled, so."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:11:40 PM] Wynn: Mind controlled? No, I... I don't think so.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:12:18 PM] Light: Val: ... you jumped off a cliff *without* being mindcontrolled?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:12:46 PM] Wynn: Well, the voice told me to, but it made sense. I mean... everything in there was fake.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:13:30 PM] Light: Val: Oh. ... not all of it was fake.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:14:54 PM] Wynn: No? Well, I guess not what you found.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:14:59 PM] Light: Val: I saw some memories, and the mask thing talked to me.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:15:37 PM] Wynn: Well, I wish I could blame it on being mind-controlled. It was inappropriate.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:16:17 PM] Light: Val: ... everybody's clothes were on and nobody sang anything with a lampshade on their head. Unless I missed that.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:17:24 PM] Wynn: No...... It's just not what someone like me is supposed to do.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:18:10 PM] Light: Val: Singing?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:18:23 PM] Wynn: Leaving people alone.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:21:12 PM] Light: Val: Oh. ... well, I'm sure you'd've come back if I didn't come out. I mean, I was gonna come back for you guys, I just lost all my gear when I got here.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:23:36 PM] Wynn: Wynn tries to hide a bit of a blush. "Yeah."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:26:27 PM] Wynn: I had hoped that you'd follow us, but from an outside perspective, it's understandable that you didn't.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:27:14 PM] Light: Val: Well, I kinda thought I might have to drag bodies back and hock some jewelry for a resurrection spell or something, honestly, but.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:28:04 PM] Wynn: Well, if anything like that happens again, don't forget there's some fifteen other people on the ship, and some of them are *very* useful for things like... healing and carrying bodies.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:28:55 PM] Light: Val: Yeah, I was hoping to talk some of them into helping. Really I hadn't got that far, yet, though.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:29:20 PM] Wynn: Wynn nods.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:34:00 PM] Light: Val: I don't seem very helpful most of the time here.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:34:16 PM] Wynn: Why is that?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:34:49 PM] Light: Val: Well, I'm a diplomat.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:35:31 PM] Wynn: Well, rhinos may not be easily swayed, but we won't always be in voidspace.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:35:37 PM] Light: Val: Even if you needed one of those, everything is all weird here. Half my tools are gone.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:35:53 PM] Wynn: ...tools?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:37:33 PM] Light: Val: Yeah. I can't talk anyone into anything anymore. It's like trying to fight a dragon with your fists.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:38:18 PM | Edited 7:38:37 PM] Wynn: Wynn frowns a little with her eyebrows. "You need tools to talk to people?"

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:39:58 PM] Light: Val: Sure. Etiquette is a tool. Flirting is a tool. Family name and relationships are tools, although I don't use those a lot. Charm is a tool, my voice is a tool. Everything's tools. I'm just missing a lot of my tools right now. It's disconcerting.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:41:01 PM] Wynn: As a diplomat, wouldn't you have to adjust to the host region's customs to fit in and get your point across better?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:42:01 PM] Light: Val: Of course. I do that all the time.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:42:15 PM] Wynn: So why is it so hard here?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:42:52 PM] Light: Val: I can adjust to Helkaerea, I can adjust to Tathyska, I can adjust to Valeria. I could adjust to Vigil if anybody could *find* it.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:43:18 PM] Wynn: ....I don't know any of those names.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:43:52 PM] Light: Val: City-states across Tarkishi

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:47:56 PM] Wynn: Well, Grayson just took over the watch, and I wasn't really planning on going to sleep right away if you want to talk about it.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:49:40 PM] Light: Val: ... sure. Where to?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:50:39 PM] Wynn: Well...... I told him if he needed help, I'd be in my room, so it's probably best if I'm there.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:51:56 PM] Light: Val nods. "That's fine, unless you have some weird taboo about a man being in a woman's bedroom or something."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:52:40 PM] Wynn: Wynn 's eyes widen. "I didn't even think about that."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:53:34 PM] Light: Val: ... oh, great. Seriously? I'm not going to try to hurt you or anything. And if I did, you could probably dropkick me.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:54:17 PM] Wynn: No... it's more about perceptions, but...

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:54:30 PM] Wynn: Wynn sighs. "Whatever. My room's fine."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:54:50 PM] Wynn: Wynn goes in the room and sets her book and mug down.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:55:00 PM] Light: Val shrugs and follows her.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:55:51 PM] Wynn: I was taught that a large part of the paladin's job was perception. Looking the part and not doing anything that could be considered disgraceful.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:56:08 PM] Light: Val: I'm not disgraceful.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:56:12 PM] Light: Val: ... I don't think?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:57:08 PM] Wynn: Well, I'm sure some outside observers might think having you in my room this late at night is, but... well, none of those people are here.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:57:39 PM] Wynn: ((is there furniture besides the bed in the rooms?))

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:58:45 PM] Light: There's a bed, a desk and a chair.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 7:59:43 PM] Wynn: Well, have a seat and tell me what the problem is. I'm going to get out of this armor.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:00:13 PM] Light: Val nods.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:00:28 PM] Light: Val: ... well, basically I'm a diplomat that can't diplomatize.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:01:04 PM] Wynn: Because there's no opportunity or because it's not working?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:01:31 PM] Wynn: Wynn takes off her armor (and is still fully clothed underneath!) and sets it at the foot of the bed.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:02:13 PM] Light: Val: Because of your weird etiquette and customs!

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:02:26 PM] Light: Val: I can't even *flirt.* Do you have any idea how disturbing that is?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:02:41 PM] Wynn: Well, no. I don't.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:04:02 PM] Light: Val: Well it's a lot like being naked in a room full of people you know, all of whom are fully clothed and laughing at you.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:04:25 PM] Wynn: ......huh.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:04:56 PM] Wynn: Wynn sits on the bed.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:05:38 PM] Wynn: I didn't realize flirting was so.... important to you.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:05:57 PM] Light: Val: It's an important tool.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:06:55 PM] Wynn: So you've been flirting with me because.... what? You think I have some kind of power here or something?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:07:13 PM] Light: Val: What? I haven't been flirting with you.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:07:58 PM] Wynn: ....... you Academy graduates always seem to have different definitions for words than I do.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:08:45 PM] Light: Val: Okay, well, I haven't been flirting with you *much*, I guess, would be more accurate. I mean, I actually *like* you.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:11:27 PM] Wynn: ......oh.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:12:07 PM] Light: Val: Flirting is kind of... well, it's not that you don't mean it, it's just meant to be pleasant and light and only as serious as the other person means to be.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:13:00 PM] Wynn: Well, I've been meaning to talk to you about that, actually.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:13:20 PM] Light: Val: Yeah?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:14:18 PM] Wynn: I don't really know how to put this, but I'm really not.... available.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:15:24 PM] Light: Val wilts a little bit. "Oh. Well, that's okay. We can still be friends, though, right?"

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:15:59 PM] Wynn: Wynn smiles. "Of course."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:17:07 PM] Wynn: I just... can't really do that whole.... thing.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:17:22 PM] Light: Val: What whole thing?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:18:35 PM] Wynn: You know... romance, family, all that stuff.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:19:43 PM] Light: Val: Well, we're kinda both too young for families. ... or I feel too young, anyway.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:20:08 PM] Wynn: Oh, no! No, I didn't mean you were---

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:20:41 PM] Wynn: I just... I don't want to put anyone through that, so I don't let it start.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:20:51 PM] Light: Val: Put anyone through what?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:22:06 PM] Wynn: Well..... people should be with someone that puts them first. That could never happen with me.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:23:56 PM] Light: Val: That's not true.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:24:52 PM] Wynn: Can you imagine? "Ok, dear, I'm off to work!" Then the hours turn into days into months, years, and you never know when or even if they'll be back... if they were killed in some raid or something?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:25:22 PM] Light: Val: You're assuming the other person wouldn't go with you.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:25:37 PM] Wynn: Knowing that you'd always be second to the church?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:25:41 PM] Light: Val: And if *that* were true, about putting people first, nobody in the nobility would ever get married at all, because none of them do that.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:26:49 PM] Wynn: Go with? Yes, I'm sure that would be an even better idea. "Come, dear! Watch me get skewered!"

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:27:05 PM] Light: Val: Or help you *not* get skewered.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:27:58 PM] Wynn: ......few people are suited for this kind of life. It would not be fair to ask someone to stand with me.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:28:16 PM] Light: Val: It wouldn't be fair to not let them if they *wanted* to though.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:29:06 PM] Wynn: Their time would be better spent looking for someone else to grow old with... they'd have to do it eventually anyway.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:29:23 PM] Light: Val: Growing old sucks, I'd rather skip that part.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:30:24 PM] Wynn: Wynn rubs her face vigorously and sort of groans. "Argh.... I'm sorry. I'm just in a really terrible state of mind tonight."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:31:02 PM] Wynn: How can we fix *your* problem?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:31:36 PM] Light: Val: You are? What's wrong?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:33:04 PM] Wynn: It's.... Nothing.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:33:43 PM] Wynn: Really, you didn't come in here to listen to me. How can I help you?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:33:43 PM] Light: Val: You seemed like you were upset, but, well, I've been off lately, so.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:33:54 PM] Light: Val: I like listening to you.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:35:29 PM] Wynn: Wynn shakes her head a little. "I don't think I can say it all again.... and I probably shouldn't with anyone else anyway."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:36:29 PM] Light: Val: Don't you trust me?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:36:50 PM] Wynn: Wynn smiles slightly. "Well, first of all, we *just* met."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:37:08 PM] Wynn: Secondly, it's.... perceptions again.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:37:46 PM] Wynn: I guess you could say I have an image I have to maintain.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:39:02 PM] Light: Val: You don't really have to maintain it in front of me, though. I mean... I told you a lot of things I wouldn't tell anybody else.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:39:21 PM] Wynn: .....you did?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:41:39 PM] Light: Val: Well, yeah. I feel helpless, that's not something I want spread around. Like I said, when you actually like someone you don't flirt, really, or at least, not like I do. That's all artifice. When you actually like someone you just act like yourself.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:42:51 PM] Wynn: ..... I don't want to be myself.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:43:00 PM] Wynn: I have parts to play.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:43:30 PM] Wynn: People wouldn't listen to me in combat if they thought I was weak or incapable, so I have to be strong and commanding.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:44:09 PM] Light: Val: Well, I didn't listen to you last time and you were strong and commanding then, so...

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:45:09 PM] Wynn: Things are simpler if everyone knows the role they play and does it. Dutiful student to my superiors, honorable Paladin to my companions...

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:46:01 PM] Wynn: That whole rhino experience was just... a failure.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:46:11 PM] Light: Val: It was?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:46:26 PM] Wynn: Of course it was. Two of you got trampled!

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:47:53 PM] Light: Val: ... uh, honestly, I don't remember it all that well, what with the squishing and everything, but we're all alive, right?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:48:12 PM] Wynn: Barely.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:48:53 PM] Light: Val: I've been beat up worse. No big deal.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:49:00 PM] Wynn: I should have had my armor on, and I should have done more to get everyone to safety and reapproach in a more favorable manner.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:49:31 PM] Wynn: No big deal? I've almost lost *you* twice.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:50:08 PM] Wynn: That's not even counting how many times the others have come near permanent injury or death.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:51:57 PM] Light: Val: So?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:53:10 PM] Wynn: So? You're a diplomat. I'm a Paladin. I *protect* people. I kill people who deserve it.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:53:23 PM] Wynn: If I can't protect my companions, what good am I?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:54:18 PM] Light: Val: Well, I don't think anybody could singlehandedly put down a rhino.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:55:35 PM] Wynn: That's not the point.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:56:38 PM] Light: Val: What is the point, then?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:58:02 PM] Wynn: It's not like I can't use help to accomplish a mission. It's just... well, nobody else is supposed to get hurt.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:58:53 PM] Wynn: Other people aren't as accustomed to it as I am.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 8:59:27 PM] Light: Val: I am.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:00:42 PM] Wynn: .....which is why you passed out from being trampled.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:01:09 PM] Light: Val: Sure. After a certain point your brain overloads.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:02:15 PM] Light: Val shrugs. "Back home this one girl that had a crush on me kept breaking my arm every day after school, usually I passed out from that too, even after I got used to it. No big deal."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:02:57 PM] Wynn: That's what I'm talking about though. I've been trained to take that sort of punishment and *still* keep fighting.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:04:01 PM] Light: Val: Well, I can't make any guarantees, but I'm pretty sure I can take *something* to keep me on my feet wounded, if that's a problem.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:04:42 PM] Wynn: What? No... that's....

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:05:13 PM] Wynn: ...I don't want anyone else getting hurt in the first place.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:05:39 PM] Light: Val: Life is pain.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:06:46 PM] Wynn: .....well, maybe we have more in common than I thought. The difference is, where I come from, only a very few of us lead a life of pain like this.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:06:58 PM] Wynn: And we do it so that others can live without pain.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:07:12 PM] Light: Val: That would be boring, though.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:09:46 PM] Wynn: Some people prefer a boring, long, happy life where the biggest problem they face is what to have for dinner that night.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:10:18 PM] Light: Val: ... really? Man, Meneluininese are weird.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:11:00 PM] Wynn: Wynn smiles and shakes her head.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:11:17 PM] Wynn: Not just them. I'd bet pretty much everyone but your people.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:12:00 PM] Wynn: People in my hometown would have loved that kind of life.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:14:14 PM] Light: Val: Well, I'm not like that, so.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:14:27 PM] Light: Val: ... I mean, if you just don't like *me*, that's different.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:15:35 PM] Wynn: I'm not sure what you're talking about.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:17:31 PM] Light: Val: Well... you're saying a lot of things to dissuade me, but I'm pretty much countering your objections. But if what you really *mean* is that you actually just don't like me, that's totally different.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:18:23 PM] Wynn: I wasn't...... well, I guess it started that way.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:19:08 PM] Wynn: ...trying to dissuade you, I mean.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:19:20 PM] Light: He nods.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:19:54 PM] Wynn: I don't *dislike* you. I don't really know you at all, honestly.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:20:07 PM] Light: Val: I know.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:20:16 PM] Wynn: I just... well, I already told you that I don't encourage those types of relationships.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:20:56 PM] Light: Val: Sure, because someone might get hurt. But I don't mind, really. That's just normal.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:21:34 PM] Wynn: ....it's not. Not for me... well, for where I come from, anyway.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:22:07 PM] Wynn: I'm supposed to protect people from pain... not make them hurt.... the good guys, anyway.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:23:05 PM] Light: Val: Well, pain is life, and I'd rather be alive than dead.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:25:15 PM] Wynn: I'm sorry. I just.... I can't.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:25:48 PM] Light: Val: Why?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:26:05 PM] Wynn: You're persistent, aren't you?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:26:47 PM] Light: Val grins. "Sure. But if you tell me to go away, I'll go away, and if you say to quit bothering you because I'm annoying, or because you don't like me, I will."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:29:27 PM] Wynn: Well, it doesn't matter anyway. The person you think you like is the part I play.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:30:32 PM] Light: Val: How do you know?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:31:04 PM] Wynn: Because you don't know me. Nobody does--- or at least, nobody did until a few hours ago.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:31:35 PM] Light: Val: What happened a few hours ago?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:34:16 PM] Wynn: I was speaking to Grayson about what happened earlier.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:34:56 PM] Light: Val: Yeah?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:36:29 PM] Wynn: Well, like I was saying about having parts to play.... I always feel like I have to be extra.... paladin-y... to make up for who I am.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:37:23 PM] Wynn: You know... if you looked at me, just like this, in plain clothes and socks... and I said something.... like I tried to arrest you or something, would you listen?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:37:36 PM] Light: Val: Sure.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:37:44 PM] Wynn: Wynn makes a face.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:37:49 PM] Wynn: You're just saying that.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:37:52 PM] Light: Val: I listen to everybody.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:37:56 PM] Wynn: ...or that.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:38:15 PM] Wynn: Most people see a little girl when they look at me.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:38:51 PM] Light: Val: You're not little. And I don't think you're much younger than me. Maybe a couple years, but that's it.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:38:55 PM] Wynn: The armor helps, but I have to wear a full-faced helmet to get any sort of respect from people who don't know me.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:40:14 PM] Light: Val: I respect you.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:41:33 PM] Wynn: You might respect the person I portray.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:41:46 PM] Light: Val: How do you know I don't respect actual-you?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:41:54 PM] Light: Val: I'm pretty good with people.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:42:44 PM] Wynn: Wynn closes her eyes and shakes her head slightly.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:43:07 PM] Wynn: I really... I just don't think I can handle going through it all again tonight.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:43:40 PM] Wynn: Physical pain is easy. This... isn't.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:44:26 PM] Light: Val: Then don't. Just sit here.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:44:43 PM] Light: He takes her hand and just holds it, carefully.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:46:53 PM] Wynn: Wynn stiffens and sort of stares at her hand like she doesn't know what to do.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:48:00 PM] Light: Val: Oh, crap. What'd I do? I swear, I read *four* books on etiquette. Handholding is supposed to be harmless and casual.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:50:09 PM] Wynn: Wynn exhales and realizes she'd been holding her breath. "It's not you. I've just... Nobody's...." She takes her hand back and covers her face with both of them.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:51:02 PM] Light: Val: ... hey, it's okay, I won't do it again. I'm sorry. What's wrong?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:52:58 PM] Wynn: Wynn drops her hands again and she's pink. "I've spent so long putting up those walls.... and I've never had to test them before tonight. Nobody's ever taken my hand, and I quite honestly hadn't a clue what to do about it."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:53:30 PM] Light: Val: Uh, well, you don't have a knife, so...

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:53:38 PM] Wynn: Wynn smiles slightly. "You know more about our style of romance than *I* do, apparently.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:54:51 PM] Light: Val: I've been studying. It's really counterintuitive, though. Some things are the same and then other things, not at all the same.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:55:58 PM] Wynn: Well, there's just yet another reason you should run and find someone else to spend your time with.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:56:24 PM] Light: Val: I don't really run usually.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 9:58:42 PM] Wynn: .... I meant away.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:00:09 PM] Light: Val: I don't really run away either.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:01:28 PM] Wynn: Wynn sighs.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:03:03 PM] Wynn: .........I do.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:03:48 PM] Light: Val: If you want, I can chase you. Or, you know. Grab your ankle and hold on really tight.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:04:41 PM] Wynn: Wynn looks confused. "No, I mean... that's who I am."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:06:04 PM] Wynn: I prefer to avoid thinking about complicated or upsetting things. Before I was a paladin, I ran from everything.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:07:11 PM] Light: Val: Well... I can't say I'm not complicated, but I don't think I need to be run away from. I mean, not usually.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:08:12 PM] Wynn: Why are you so intent? What can you possibly see?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:09:03 PM] Wynn: I'm really not worth all this effort.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:09:52 PM] Light: Val: ... you. I see you.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:11:27 PM] Wynn: .......

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:14:31 PM] Light: He smiles a little bit.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:15:22 PM] Wynn: Wynn looks pretty well short-circuited at this point... like she can't put two words together.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:16:57 PM] Light: He stays quiet.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:18:06 PM] Wynn: I.... um......

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:18:08 PM] Wynn: Wynn squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head a little, like she's clearing the cobwebs.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:19:37 PM] Wynn: Why does everything have to be so damn *hard* all of a sudden?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:20:50 PM] Wynn: This morning, I woke up, said my prayers, had breakfast, shined my shield.... I knew what I was supposed to do, who I was supposed to be.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:21:47 PM] Light: Val: ... well, what can I do to make things easier?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:23:29 PM] Wynn: .......I don't know.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:24:38 PM] Light: Val: Well, maybe we should just sit here, then.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:25:35 PM] Wynn: Wynn sort of half-laugh, half-scoffs. "You know... this is all your fault. If you'd have jumped with us, I'd probably still be happily telling myself I was different now."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:26:33 PM] Light: Val: I'm sorry?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:27:15 PM] Wynn: Wynn shakes her head. "It's not really your fault. It was a really bad attempt at a joke."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:27:43 PM] Light: Val: Oh, okay. Good.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:27:52 PM] Light: He smile a little bit, relieved.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:29:40 PM] Wynn: Do you sleep or trance?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:30:43 PM] Light: Val: I sleep, but not for very long.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:33:34 PM] Wynn: ..........It's really not my place to ask this of you, but I just want to stop thinking. Would you tell me a story about yourself?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:34:21 PM] Light: Val: Sure. Let me think what would be a good one...

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:37:06 PM | Edited 10:38:00 PM] Wynn: Wynn stretches out on the bed and props her head up on her hand to listen.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:38:47 PM] Light: Val: Well, when I was little I was ... little. My parents moved around a lot--diplomacy, remember? --and they brought me with them, from place to place.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:39:47 PM] Light: Val: I mostly don't remember living in Meneluinin much or Solitaire, but we used to vacation there sometimes too. But we were never really anywhere long enough. So I had to learn to make friends quickly.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:41:14 PM] Light: Val: I got pretty good at it. Usually I'd just try to reflect whatever it is people actually seemed to want, and then become the reflection. But not pretend--really become. That's the key--it all has to be real. Genuine.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:42:22 PM] Wynn: ...parts to play?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:42:47 PM] Light: Val: Parts to *be.* Really be. People can always tell when you're not being genuine.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:43:13 PM] Light: Val: Besides, it doesn't feel good to lie.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:44:02 PM] Wynn: Wynn yawns. "You're like a chameleon.... I bet you'd like Kestrel."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:45:20 PM] Light: Val: Diplomacy is like that. You just have to be careful that what you reflect is still some facet of you. Everybody's got facets.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:47:29 PM] Wynn: Wynn smiles slightly, teasing. "That was more of a lecture than a story."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:48:19 PM] Light: Val: Well, the story is that no matter where I went people liked me. ... my parents were kind of freaked out, but they came around eventually and they saw I was happy like that.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:48:52 PM] Wynn: Wynn frowns. "Until you got here and thought nobody liked you."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:49:57 PM] Light: Val: Well, sure. But I read up on it, and it... seems okay now. It's still weird without the more... knify ... socializations, but.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:51:10 PM] Wynn: ....I'm sorry I ignored you. It just wasn't ever the time or place to explain.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:51:38 PM] Wynn: I didn't realize how badly that could hurt you.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:53:29 PM] Light: Val: Hey, life is pain, right? No big deal.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:53:33 PM] Light: He smiles.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:54:17 PM] Wynn: You can't honestly tell me you enjoyed that. Isolation's hard enough when you *choose* it.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:55:49 PM] Light: Val: I didn't, but I found things to do about it. I still have a couple of books to read but I think I mostly have the gist.s

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:56:56 PM] Wynn: Where did you learn the chant you were using the other day?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:58:29 PM] Light: Val: I took music lessons at the Academy.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:58:50 PM] Wynn: ....are you an assassin too?

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 10:59:33 PM] Light: Val: Well, I graduated, sort of. We moved, so I had to have tutors.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 11:01:24 PM] Light: Val: ... I talked them out of the killing-somebody requirement, so.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 11:02:11 PM] Wynn: Wynn smiles slightly. "Talking is good."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 11:03:24 PM] Wynn: Wynn closes her eyes. "You're a good talker."

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 11:04:26 PM] Light: Val: Sure. Want to hear another chant? There are quiet ones.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 11:04:58 PM] Wynn: Sure.

<p class="MsoNormal">[3/5/2014 11:06:16 PM] Light: He chants her to sleep! Because it's late and this is a good spot to break off.